Finding your inner peace will not only affect you, but it will also affect those who are closest to you. At one time my life was chaotic which meant my loved ones suffered the consequences of what had happened in my life at any given time.
It was much to my surprise when I got involved with counseling that I realized to be able to truly help people my life had to a better example than what I had been living. This led me to work on four different aspects of my life which brought the most learning as well a peace of mind.
Keep an Open Mind
Okay, I know this is a tough one as we all like to have our own opinions. After all who doesn’t want to be right, right?
Most of us are set in our ways so to see a situation from someone else’s eyes can become difficult for us. Seeing something from another one’s perspective is difficult because we can only see one side the situation.
To keep an open mind as well as embrace new ideas, it’s always important to try different ways of thinking.
The best thing to do to learn how to keep an open mind is to choose the areas which you want to develop. But begin working on one area at a time.
Let’s say for example someone has a solid opinion about politics, yours is entirely different from what they are saying.
Here you’re going to have to fight the urge to react in anger. Instead of responding in anger this is a good time to take a moment to yourself to find the understanding that not everyone will hold the same opinion as you.
Sometimes we tend to close ourselves off, without even listening to what the other person has to say. Open yourself up to accepting different situations than what you’re familiar with. This helps us to look at them as learning experiences.
One thing I would like to state is never be afraid to ask questions. That’s the only way we learn is by asking questions which we don’t have the answers to.
Remember somebody is willing to share something of their personal life with you, you should be prepared to listen to what they have to say.
You Can Only Give What You Have
Our environment is affected by the type of thoughts we have. Whatever thoughts you put out is exactly what you’re going to get back.
That’s just the way this universe functions. If you decide to put out anger into the world, anger is precisely what you’re going to get back.
For this very reason, you should learn to focus only on giving what you want to receive. If you have unconditional love for yourself, then you will have unconditional love for others.
E.g., let’s say you want to give someone $100, but you have only $10. How will you make it possible to give someone $100 when you don’t have that much, to begin with?
Change Your Mindset to Solve an Old Problem
Have you ever noticed that when you’re trying to fix a problem, no matter what you do, your old tried techniques do not work?
It’s not that your techniques aren’t great, it’s that you need to look at the problem with a different perspective.
Sort of like when you’re looking at a piece of metal, from one side it seems shiny while the other side is dull. Notice you’re looking at the same object yet from two different perspectives or sides.
Same with an old problem, you need to change your mindset to view it differently.
How do you change your mindset?
You need to develop a growth mindset while letting go of the fixed mindset.
First of all look at the difference between a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset.
Fixed Mindset: This is where people believe they are either born with talent or not. These individuals think that their fixed traits are viewed as intelligence which means that the natural abilities, the ones we are born with will determine our success.
Growth Mindset: The individuals that maintain a growth mindset believe talents come through effort. The belief here is if you put your mind to it anyone can attain any talent.
Individuals that have a fixed mindset seek to validate themselves through their natural inborn talents. People who have a growth mindset focus on developing themselves through constant/ongoing learning.
People with a fixed mindset will only focus on what they already know; they will rarely try anything new. These types of people if they do is attempt something new, will most likely give up if they can’t get it within the first few tries.
Those with a growth mindset will keep working at a problem until a solution is found. These people believe that you can develop any ability through dedication and hard work. Because of this belief, they have the desire to keep learning.
By developing a growth mindset, rather than focusing only on the talent, we are already born with we can create new solutions to old problems.
Take Responsibility of How You React to Others
When we let others affect how we react to their words we are essentially allowing them to control our moods.
I know that we’ve all been in situations where others have been the source of our anger. Maybe someone cut us off in traffic on the way to work today, or just as we are leaving for work, we realize our ride hadn’t arrived yet.
I mean seriously, how irritating is it when things go wrong which throws off.
So what do we do as a result of this happening to us?
Well, if you’re anything like the previous me, you might spend your whole day venting about how someone cut you off in traffic or how your ride was so inconsiderate that they couldn’t get there on time to bring you to work.
By reacting like this we need to realize that that situation isn’t only affecting us at work, it’s going to affect us after work, possibly even follow us into the night as we drift off into a sleep.
Not only does this affect us personally, but it also affects the people around us because we let the anger influence how we treat those who are close to us.
This is where we have to learn reactions have consequences. Reactions are when you let thoughts and emotions take over so much that you get lost in the compulsive mental activity that happens afterward.
- We burn with anger
- We let our bad mood affect those around us
- We let things ruin our day
I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the saying ‘anger is like drinking poison while hoping the object of your anger dies.’
That saying applies to this type of response!
By responding means, we are taking action to address what can be resolved. When this happens, we allow ourselves to move forward.
Now how could you respond to someone who cuts you off in traffic? One way to answer would be to take action to ensure that you will not be involved in an accident.
Responding implies moving forward positively. Responding is not the most natural path, but it’s a more peaceful path.
Finding our inner peace shouldn’t be as complicated as its made out to be. But the only with doing is learning to change how to we think which have the most positive impact on our lives.
Please share in comments below what you believe may help you find your inner peace.
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