How to live a meaningful life without losing yourself in the process can be achieved. For it to take place, we have to live life our way.
Most times we as humans try to live a meaningful life by following other’s examples. But when we’re following examples set by other individuals, we’re not truly living the life that we want which has meaning for us.
Of course, we should have some aspirations or role models!
Even though there are people that we do look up to, we still need to achieve meaning in our lives by setting our examples.
For me to find meaning in my life there are many steps I had to take. For years I thought my life was to defined by other actions. Though now in hindsight I realize others actions impacted my life in unintentional ways.
I’m one of those people who has always searched for meaning to my very being on earth. It has not come without its consequences.
Why did I have consequences?
Because I allowed myself to follow the examples others set. In retrospect, I was letting the examples I was following to give meaning to my life.
For a few years, I lost myself which means I missed on how to live a meaningful life. My life had no purpose. Hence it meant nothing to me.
When a person loses meaning in their life, it’s almost like they’re floating in space. Trying to grab whatever they can to have their life travel a specific path.
This is precisely what happened to me. It finally dawned on me that I was going to have to give meaning to my own life to do so I had to follow some self-guided tips.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Social media is famous for people to compare their lives to others. Most of us forget that what people put out on social media isn’t all that it seems.
We find ourselves comparing ourselves to others because it looks like they have such a great life.
What a confidence killer that is!
Here’s a little technique I learned on how to stop comparing yourself to others. First off, in your mind, you will need to create the very best version of yourself. Just remember it takes baby steps to achieve what you truly want. The swish technique changing behaviors pattern is great for this.
By comparing myself to others, I was destroying myself to try to rebuild myself in the image of the other person. It took me a few years to realize I was my own image. There is no one else like me out there.
We all have our journeys; each journey is individual to the person living it. I have no desire to complete another person’s quest. Just because another person’s journey seems more interesting does not make mine any less exciting.
It was hard to define myself this way, but now I’m glad I did. Otherwise, I would still be sitting at home wondering why my life is going the way it was.
I own my life now – the way I’m supposed to without any outside interference from others whatsoever. Nowadays I avoid mindlessly scrolling through social media feeds.
I’ve become more self-aware because I don’t allow outside influence in. By becoming more self-aware, I realize my life is pretty good compared to others out there.
Nowadays, the thing that ticks me off the most is when people brag. At one time when people would brag, I would think why is my life not as good as theirs. But the deeper I looked into the person bragging about their life, the more miserable it looked.
Remember unless you’re close to someone, you cannot judge their outward appearance to the reality of their life.
Let Go of the Past You
Many times when people try to lose weight, they look at past pictures of themselves. Looking at old photos, stories or experiences will not go into creating better things for you for the future.
Remember that was yesterday you. It’s better to look at a future where you to build yourself up rather than see through the eyes of the past to what you once were.
You need to make a decision to let go of the past, it won’t disappear on its own. A conscious choice has to be made to live in the moment of now. Otherwise, you could end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on.
By making a conscious choice means you are accepting that you have an option to let it go. Remember by letting it go you are refusing to rerun the story or the experience which you want to leave in the past.
Do whatever you need to do, be it writing or talking to get the past out of your system. Doing so will also help you understand what your history meant to you. See what I just did there? I wrote meant not means.
Why did I write meant?
Because it’s in the past, it has no meaning over the life you’re living now.
Sometimes what I see with clients that I see now, is that they like to play the victim. As long as the victim mentality exists a person will always be a victim of their past.
By making yourself a victim of actions which took place in the past, you are letting the reactions take place now. The victim mentality will never let you be free of what may have taken place in the past.
It will always affect what you are doing now.
E.g. as a child you were never able to pick out your own clothes when you went shopping. Now as an adult you may have a hard time going shopping on your own. There’s a reason some adults will drag their parents or other family members to go shopping with them.
If you are one of these people, who carry a victim mentality but are now done with it, read my blog post on how to heal your inner child wounds on how to get past this.
Why do you need to take responsibility for yourself?
Because by taking responsibility you move from victim to victorious mentality. This means you put yourself at cause and not at the effect; meaning you except that you create your life and are not just reacting to it.
By accepting that you create your life, you learn to appreciate things happen for you and not to you.
Another thing when taking responsibility is that you allow yourself to choose how to respond to the challenges life throws at you. You become the leading force or driver in your journey of life.
The first thing when taking responsibility is by owning your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. By taking ownership here, you realize that everything you say or do comes from within you. You own all of it.
What this means is that nobody can make you think, feel, say or do anything that you don’t want to do. You don’t allow others to push your buttons, because you are the one making those buttons.
By taking responsibility for yourself and your experiences, you can find yourself stepping into a place of calm confidence. The reason you feel calm is that you are consciously in charge of yourself as well as how you respond.
Change Only Because You Want To
One thing I found when working with clients was that they were changing because their significant other or family required them to change.
As you know when others ask us to change, it never sticks. We have to change because we want to change. It’s the only time when real change will take place.
One of my clients was a drug addict. We had many counseling sessions where he would come in and tell me that his wife wanted him to quit drugs. Knowing what I knew already about the change taking place only if there is desire, I knew he wasn’t ready.
But since he kept making appointments to see me, there is really no way I could stop him from coming in. We talked about the effects drugs had on his life. But each time he would mention what had happened in the past. Basically, he blamed his past for what was happening to him now.
He had no desire to change. Sadly, it broke up his marriage which led him down a further path of destruction. The only way he would’ve changed is if he had wanted to.
Changing for someone else will not only make you unhappy, but it will also cast a shadow on the relationship of whom you’re changing for.
The person for whom the change took place for will always be on the tips of their toe waiting for the shoe to drop.
The person doing the change will always know that it was something that was forced on them. No one likes to be forced into doing something they don’t want to do. Change is the same; it’s either accepted or not.
Don’t allow others to make you become who you don’t want to be!
How to live a more meaningful life is all about becoming self-aware of the direction your life is going in. Once you become self-aware, you know your journey opens up to a whole host of new possibilities.
Let me know in the comments below what would bring more meaning into your life if you truly followed your life path direction.
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