how to live meaningful life

4 Tips On How to Live a Meaningful Life Without Losing Yourself

How to live a meaningful life without losing yourself in the process can be achieved. For it to take place, we have to live life our way.

Most times we as humans try to live a meaningful life by following other’s examples. But when we’re following examples set by other individuals, we’re not truly living the life that we want which has meaning for us.

Of course, we should have some aspirations or role models!

Even though there are people that we do look up to, we still need to achieve meaning in our lives by setting our examples.

For me to find meaning in my life there are many steps I had to take. For years I thought my life was to defined by other actions. Though now in hindsight I realize others actions impacted my life in unintentional ways.

I’m one of those people who has always searched for meaning to my very being on earth. It has not come without its consequences.

Why did I have consequences?

Because I allowed myself to follow the examples others set. In retrospect, I was letting the examples I was following to give meaning to my life.

For a few years, I lost myself which means I missed on how to live a meaningful life. My life had no purpose. Hence it meant nothing to me.

When a person loses meaning in their life, it’s almost like they’re floating in space. Trying to grab whatever they can to have their life travel a specific path.

This is precisely what happened to me. It finally dawned on me that I was going to have to give meaning to my own life to do so I had to follow some self-guided tips.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Social media is famous for people to compare their lives to others. Most of us forget that what people put out on social media isn’t all that it seems.

We find ourselves comparing ourselves to others because it looks like they have such a great life.

What a confidence killer that is!

Here’s a little technique I learned on how to stop comparing yourself to others. First off, in your mind, you will need to create the very best version of yourself. Just remember it takes baby steps to achieve what you truly want. The swish technique changing behaviors pattern is great for this.

By comparing myself to others, I was destroying myself to try to rebuild myself in the image of the other person. It took me a few years to realize I was my own image. There is no one else like me out there.

We all have our journeys; each journey is individual to the person living it. I have no desire to complete another person’s quest. Just because another person’s journey seems more interesting does not make mine any less exciting.

It was hard to define myself this way, but now I’m glad I did. Otherwise, I would still be sitting at home wondering why my life is going the way it was.

I own my life now – the way I’m supposed to without any outside interference from others whatsoever. Nowadays I avoid mindlessly scrolling through social media feeds.

I’ve become more self-aware because I don’t allow outside influence in. By becoming more self-aware, I realize my life is pretty good compared to others out there.

Nowadays, the thing that ticks me off the most is when people brag. At one time when people would brag, I would think why is my life not as good as theirs. But the deeper I looked into the person bragging about their life, the more miserable it looked.

Remember unless you’re close to someone, you cannot judge their outward appearance to the reality of their life.

Let Go of the Past You

Many times when people try to lose weight, they look at past pictures of themselves. Looking at old photos, stories or experiences will not go into creating better things for you for the future.

Remember that was yesterday you. It’s better to look at a future where you to build yourself up rather than see through the eyes of the past to what you once were.

You need to make a decision to let go of the past, it won’t disappear on its own. A conscious choice has to be made to live in the moment of now. Otherwise, you could end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on.

By making a conscious choice means you are accepting that you have an option to let it go. Remember by letting it go you are refusing to rerun the story or the experience which you want to leave in the past.

Do whatever you need to do, be it writing or talking to get the past out of your system. Doing so will also help you understand what your history meant to you. See what I just did there? I wrote meant not means.

Why did I write meant?

Because it’s in the past, it has no meaning over the life you’re living now.

Sometimes what I see with clients that I see now, is that they like to play the victim. As long as the victim mentality exists a person will always be a victim of their past.

By making yourself a victim of actions which took place in the past, you are letting the reactions take place now. The victim mentality will never let you be free of what may have taken place in the past.

It will always affect what you are doing now.

E.g. as a child you were never able to pick out your own clothes when you went shopping. Now as an adult you may have a hard time going shopping on your own. There’s a reason some adults will drag their parents or other family members to go shopping with them.

If you are one of these people, who carry a victim mentality but are now done with it, read my blog post on how to heal your inner child wounds on how to get past this.

Take Responsibility

Why do you need to take responsibility for yourself?

Because by taking responsibility you move from victim to victorious mentality. This means you put yourself at cause and not at the effect; meaning you except that you create your life and are not just reacting to it.

By accepting that you create your life, you learn to appreciate things happen for you and not to you.

Another thing when taking responsibility is that you allow yourself to choose how to respond to the challenges life throws at you. You become the leading force or driver in your journey of life.

The first thing when taking responsibility is by owning your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. By taking ownership here, you realize that everything you say or do comes from within you. You own all of it.

What this means is that nobody can make you think, feel, say or do anything that you don’t want to do. You don’t allow others to push your buttons, because you are the one making those buttons.

By taking responsibility for yourself and your experiences, you can find yourself stepping into a place of calm confidence. The reason you feel calm is that you are consciously in charge of yourself as well as how you respond.

Change Only Because You Want To

One thing I found when working with clients was that they were changing because their significant other or family required them to change.

As you know when others ask us to change, it never sticks. We have to change because we want to change. It’s the only time when real change will take place.

One of my clients was a drug addict. We had many counseling sessions where he would come in and tell me that his wife wanted him to quit drugs. Knowing what I knew already about the change taking place only if there is desire, I knew he wasn’t ready.

But since he kept making appointments to see me, there is really no way I could stop him from coming in. We talked about the effects drugs had on his life. But each time he would mention what had happened in the past. Basically, he blamed his past for what was happening to him now.

He had no desire to change. Sadly, it broke up his marriage which led him down a further path of destruction. The only way he would’ve changed is if he had wanted to.

Changing for someone else will not only make you unhappy, but it will also cast a shadow on the relationship of whom you’re changing for. 

The person for whom the change took place for will always be on the tips of their toe waiting for the shoe to drop.

The person doing the change will always know that it was something that was forced on them. No one likes to be forced into doing something they don’t want to do. Change is the same; it’s either accepted or not.

Don’t allow others to make you become who you don’t want to be!

How to live a more meaningful life is all about becoming self-aware of the direction your life is going in. Once you become self-aware, you know your journey opens up to a whole host of new possibilities.

Let me know in the comments below what would bring more meaning into your life if you truly followed your life path direction.

If you find this article helpful, please share it so others can gain benefits as well.

14 thoughts on “4 Tips On How to Live a Meaningful Life Without Losing Yourself

  1. I certainly agree with you; trying to live a meaningful life by doing what has worked for others will make you more miserable. Why? Because it’s your life and the only ones who can decide what kind of life you want to live for yourself is YOU. You’re absolutely right, we all have a journey (I call it a RACE) to finish, one that is completely different from each other. You run your race, I’ll run mine. 

    By choosing the life we want to live, we find ourselves happier and life more fulfilling than when we compare ourselves to others and try to copy the way they live their lives. I have learned long ago that the only way I can live a meaningful life is by setting a goal and determining my purpose. Why am I here? What do I want to accomplish in this life? Where do I see myself many years from now? 

    1. Yes, I agree by following others we only make it hard for ourselves. Our journey begins and ends with us, so I feel we should embrace the journey we have been given and finish the race at our own pace. 

      By consciously choosing our way of living, there is no undermining going on compared to others. Goals + purpose are a great way to achieve our own means to an end. 

      Thank you for your comment. 

  2. This is very good, it hit home in my life. I had the same problem of letting go of the past. In a relationship of mind I was cheated on by my friend an that took me down a crazy path of mistrust. I would find myself comparing myself to others and doubting if I had what it take to make this person happy. What I came to realize it that people actions is the decision of their own thoughts and I can’t hold myself responsible. I begin to do one of the techniques you described, I took a look at myself and life and stop worrying about why someone would do something to hurt me and realized it their action that took them down that road and everyone of us had choices. My choices was to forgive this person move on if that what I was going to do or if I was going to stay be up front stop mistrusting and complaining the choices was mind and I had to own it. Thanks you

    1. Glad that you enjoyed this post. Letting go of the past can be difficult, especially if you have been dealt with an incredibly difficult had. It’s too bad someone you trusted took advantage of you, without thinking about the consequences it would have on you.

      You are right in not owning responsibility for another’s actions, it becomes their burden to bear. You no longer need to shoulder that, great that absolved yourself from it.

      Hopefully, the technique you used, you found it helpful. What a great choice you made in forgiving, it’s only going to free up that space of anger you may have had to fill it up with something better.

      Thank you for your comment.

  3. I totally agree that change is hard and that you have to be your own person. I would add that change sometimes has to come from outside oneself at the beginning, but for true lasting change that definitely needs to be done internally. I just think sometimes it is difficult for someone on drugs, or in my case, who was severely depressed to change because I wanted to. I had to change because I cared about other people and eventually that change transitioned to wanting to do things for myself. What’s challenging is making that transition from doing it for others to doing it for yourself because doing things for others only lasts so long. I love what you are putting out there. Keep up the good work!

    1. Being your own person comes from knowing exactly who you are. If change is required and a person is ready, then it should be implemented for success. 

      I agree a person who has a drug addiction can have a hard time making the change, but as I said they will only accept a drug free life if they are ready.

      You changed because you cared for others, which then lead to a transitioning moment in your life. The only person to make the change was you because you made the decision to care for others. Great way to see it in a new perspective. 

      Thank you for your comment. 

  4. Life is too short to live the lives of others. Every change you want to make, start first by yourself. People often fall into a circle and do not know how to get out of it, they just need to look around and ask themselves, is that what they actually  want. People are afraid to get out of the comfort zone so that they do not lose something, but when they are better able to see the situation what they preserve, is actually not worthy of their time and effort. Opinions of others should not stop you from being what you are.

    Best regards,

    MMA Store-Warrior Spirit

    1. You are life is too short not to live it to the fullest. All change is something which has to be gladly accepted for it work. 

      Most people will keep going in circles until they do it for themselves. Getting out the comfort zone is tough, but once they do it’s pretty amazing what changes can take place in their life. 

      Thank you for your comment. 

  5. You have added 4 great tips on how to live a meaningful life wthout losing yourself in this article. I, like all of us, have gone through various stages in my own life, in a journey that had been interesting, enlightening, meaningful, and rewarding in many ways.

    As you state, mine is just one of many, and without comparing mine to others’ unique journeys, I think you have to decide for yourself whether or not you are on a path that is providing meaning and depth for yourself. One thing I have discovered is that the journey does not end, and it should not end.

    At the ripe old age of 62 (the new 40s?) I still feel excited with each day and what it may bring. There is still so much to learn about and so many things that bring joy to myself and to others around me. I try to keep it that way, it is so much more meaningful for me personally.

    I know people my age who act older than they are, and they somehow seem to be waiting for death to overtake them. here is little joy in their life, and they are often Negative Nancys who drag your spirit and mood down. I stay away from them for the most part.

    As a young lad, I went to school, commisserated with smart people, thinking people, educated people. I tried to take the positive and ditch the negative as I developed my own approach to life. It is true that having mentors can help starting out, but at some point you must determine your own path based on your own decisions and wants, needs, and desires.

    Change can be a good thing, as nothing is as it was, or at least most things are not static. Perhaps my Grandmother was an exception to this rule, she was like a rock and lived her life that provided meaning for her consistently the entire years she was with us.

    I can say that I have evolved over the years and contnue to do so. My growth is not complete, and where I was is not where I am, nor is it where I will be until I am no more. If we can keep that same sense of curiosity that we have as kids, and we search for answers to questions we have, and take responsibility for our own development (and actions), we can find ourselves more and more as opposed to losing ourselves as we live our life.

    It sounds like you believe and live in a similar manner, and if you and I can get this across to the multitides (or even one other person) I think we will have done something good and positive, both for ourselves and those we touch. Great read, thanks!   

    1. I love your thinking concept and you are right the 60s are the new 40s. What a great way to look at life. I myself have an illness, but no way am a I waiting for death. I will greet it when I’m good and ready to leave this world. 

      I agree change can always be a good thing, but only if one wants to change and it has to be for them. Changing for others will benefit no one, because in my past line of work I’ve noticed its not something which sticks. 

      Keep growing I say, as self-growth never stops.

      Thank you for your comment. 

  6. This was absolutely one of the bests posts I’ve read in a long time!  I have a hard time letting go of my past failures and mistakes.  This is one thing I want to work on in 2019.  I totally agree with you about the need to look forward to the future in order to build ourselves up, rather than holding onto the past.  This is something I’ve been working on, bit by bit.  I really appreciate all of the positive ideas!  This is a great way to start the new year:)

    Blessings:)

    Suzi

    1. Most of us have a hard time letting past mistakes be released, but one thing I learned about past mistakes is that they are in the past and bear no relevance on what I’m doing today. Glad that you liked the post. Thank you for your comment. 

  7. I think letting go of the past you is a hugh one,at least for myself it was. Still a daily work in progress but oh so much happier now that I am not living in the past. I like to not use the word victim instead I made it into a positive I am victorious in all I do!

    1. I agree letting the past go is work in progress due to the fact different memories pop-up at any given time. One thing I like to make sure is that the past has no impact on what I do today.  Thanks for your comment. 

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