Taking back your personal power is the greatest gift you can give yourself. By retaining your power you become mentally strong which means others cannot boss you around.
By giving it away it robs you of your mental strength. When we’re robbed of our mental strength we start to put others above and beyond ourselves.
It’s easy to lose sight of the choices we make while forgetting that the only way to find real happiness is from within. By retaining our power doesn’t mean to intimidate or use aggression against others to get what we want.
Power is knowing your own worth to ask clearly with confidence for what you want. If you don’t keep your power, the answer to what you want will always be no.
If you feel like you had enough of tolerating toxic relationships then the time to start taking back your personal power is now.
Stop the Blame Game
What is the rule of the blame game?
The rule is – if something goes wrong in my life, someone other than myself has to be blamed for causing the issue to take place.
Many of us overreact when things go wrong. Sometimes it feels better to place blame on another rather than where it belongs, which is us.
Blame is usually one-sided. The person placing the blame on another is not trying to understand what happened. It’s more about making someone else take responsibility for our actions.
By the placing blame on another, we create avoidance. Rather than look at ourselves or our own faults, we choose to push it all on to another person. This helps avoid accountability.
How can you stop the blame game?
- Take accountability of your own actions: By taking accountability for your own actions you will emerge as an individual who is psychologically secure.
- Step back: First thing you need to do is turn down your emotions to get a perspective of what is really going on. Don’t let the situation escalate to the point where you can’t get a handle on it. Remember we all at some point or another in our lifetime will cast blame. It’s in our nature. But stepping back from a situation will help to gain more control of it.
- Don’t throw others under the bus: When you find yourself disagreeing with someone, avoid trying to prove a point and examine your part in the disagreement.
- Keep away from threats or ultimatums: Saying words which will cause you to regret later are best to be avoided during times of disagreement.
Own Your Thinking
At times we let others do our thinking for us. It’s almost like we think they will make better decisions on our behalf.
All of us are hardwired to resolve our own issues. Our brains are constantly working to solve problems. By owning our own thoughts while being inline with our personal thought patterns we develop healthier habits of having creative and productive thinking.
How can you own your own thinking?
- Pay attention to your thoughts: Our thoughts aren’t there just to exist in our mental realm. Most times they are there to push us into action. Starting from early morning to evening we are exposed to many different elements of others’ ways of thinking. But remember that’s their way of thinking, you don’t need to form an opinion because someone else is letting their thoughts override yours.
- Don’t let strangers persuade you: I know starting in the morning my world exists online. Why? Because all of my work is online. So I’m constantly researching to put together good articles or posts for others to read.
Most times the reading I’m doing is written by strangers, people I don’t know. One thing I always focus on is what will I get out of the topic I’m reading about.
Letting others persuade me to their way of thinking, will have me churning out content which is similar to everyone else out there.
I have no desire to do that!
By living consciously you will learn to live in the moment. I love living in the moment because I don’t want to miss anything.
There are some people who live in the past which then hinders their present because they are always basing their present on what happened to them in the past.
Yet, there are some who live for the future forgetting that the moment we are living in is what’s actually happening in our life right now.
How can you live consciously?
- Do what makes you happy: Rather than focusing on what you can do to make others happy why not make yourself happy first. As humans, we are naturally more inclined to meet our obligations and expectations others are expecting of us. This actually takes away from us living our life.
- Accept yourself fully: Even with our imperfections, which we all have to some degree or another, accept them. That’s what makes the real you. Don’t let people around you compare you to others to make you feel worse about yourself. On the other hand, don’t judge others by trying to be superior to them.
- Make good use of your time: Pay attention to where your thinking is going. How much time are you spending thinking about worries which may never happen?
Create Your Own Perceptions
Never let others perceptions cloud your perception.
Growing up all I heard was we don’t have enough money to buy what you want or need. The more I heard the more I let it become my truth.
My younger sibling also heard this but she did not let it become her to set all. As a matter of fact, she became a millionaire while I still let my parent’s perception of money cloud my perception
By doing so I was interpreting their perception to be my true perception. I didn’t exactly do myself any favors growing up.
Don’t make the mistake I did. It took me a long time to learn that I have to own my own perceptions.
How can you create your own perceptions?
- Be a conscious creator: By learning to focus with a strong intensity you will be able to create subtle changes which will then start appearing in physical reality. By allowing others thoughts to interfere with your own perceptions you push yourself out alignment with your own experience on earth.
- Be proud of your personal style: This is where we let others judge us. We don’t only let them to judge us but we allow their judging to interfere with who we are as an individual. Be proud of your personal style, remember you are the only one who can carry that style off.
- Ask yourself questions which matter: What would happen if you were to love the perception of yourself? Where do you see your perception leading you?
Don’t Let Mind-Dust Fool You
Mind dust is the unfocused consciousness that floats around in your brain with no purpose. Its only purpose is to deceive you into thinking what is not true.
Be aware of mind dust as it can lead to some very dire consequences. For some who allow mind dust to rule their mind get led into a false sense of security. They constantly question their positives. The consciousness link to mind dust is always free-flowing with no real goal.
How can you stay free of mind dust?
- Be aware of your thoughts: Although we should all allow thoughts to flow in, we should also keep a check on what type of thoughts we are allowing to come in.
Stop Being a Victim
Granted there are times where it will feel like the whole world is against you. But then there is a time when everyone is for you, yet we feel like everyone is still out to get us.
At times we feel like we deserve to suffer and will never enjoy the success or peace we desire. This is when you need to realize you accepted being a victim and have made it your reality.
When we play the victim role we’re doing ourselves no favor. What we’re really doing is keeping ourselves contained to a victim mentality.
How to stop being a victim?
- Go easy on yourself: As children, we were always told to be nice and play fair. But we were never told to be nice to ourselves. As a young child growing up it was always considered a no-no for me to think of myself first. As I got into the counseling world I realized how important it was that I put myself first.
- Don’t sabotage yourself: When a person is trapped in victimhood that’s when they realize how vulnerable they really are. It’s almost like their expecting disaster right around the corner. This sense is most intense when good things are happening for us.
- Forgive and release: People with a victim mentality often hold on to grudges. Holding on to a grudge can color our world to such an extent that we often misinterpret well-meant gestures from others. By forgiving you give yourself permission to move beyond the pain to find inner peace and freedom.
Now you need to determine is it worth it to start taking back your personal power or would you rather somebody else have control over your thoughts, perceptions and basically everything else.
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